Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Stuck In a Rut

I hate feeling like I'm stuck in a rut...The last few weeks have been so complicated, my life has changed so quickly. So, I'm now at a cafe doing some prayer blogging. Let me offer some quick backstory to my thoughts. I'm stuck in this huge spiritual rut, maybe you have been there? You desire to pray, but you don't, you want to pick up the Bible but instead you reach for the TV controller. Well, that has been the past few weeks for me, now I HATE the thought of being lazy, but in all honeslty I think I'm just a little overwhelmed with so many new emotions. I'm trying to stay focused on the present, but my mind constantly wants to run forward and grasp the future. It's funny how time seems to stand still when you want it to move forward, of course when you want time to stand still (weekends for instance) it's seems to go so quickly. In my mind, I see images of Seattle, I see myself with new friends at the local cafe having great conversations...Now, these friends are faceless, but finding friends is the least of my fears, that comes natural to me...The problem is the present, ya know...I get that phone call from some client who needs to see a home...Oh ya, I still have to live in the present...Because the present is as important as the future. I want the present to be healthy, I want to connect with God, love my family and spend time with friends who I love and care for. But, the rut thing comes back to haunt me. I kinda of feel like I'm in Narnia, I'm in the unique phase in life. I know I'm leaving my current location, but I can't go yet, so I have to get out of this rut, and embrace the moment and take advantage of every God opportunity that comes my way; because the present will come soon enough and maybe, just maybe I will will be thinking about my past? I kinda hear a U2 song in my head at this moment. Peace & Love.

1 comment:

Chad K Miller said...

I totally understand, although I really think Raleigh is my Seattle right now. I will pray for you man, I guess we are just raised to keep moving towards the next destination. Enjoy the journey, your days here will soon grow nigh and you might even miss this place. Take care bud.